Why should we care for a bunch of despicable criminals? "Because they're cool!", says Quentin Tarantino. John Travolta's comeback vehicle gets The Contrarians Treatment as Alex and Julio wonder why Uma Thurman speaks like Juno McGuff, why Tarantino wouldn't cast an actual actor to play Jimmy and, more importantly, what gives Travolta those time-traveling regenerative powers. And are Bruce Willis' terrible breakfast habits to blame for everything? Why can't we get a whole movie about Eric Stoltz? Most importantly: how can a movie with so many guns have so little action?!?!?!

The Summer of Travolta continues!